The March of Progress, reworked16 combinationsS to XXXL
The essentials: the 1965 illustration scientists have been correcting for sixty years, and everyone still recognises. Here the line ends with one fighter sending another into the air. 16 combinations of body and logo colour, so you choose the contrast independently of the shade. 6 sizes from S to XXXL, European cut — take your usual size. €49, free standard shipping.
The joke rests on a picture everyone knows
The original is called The Road to Homo Sapiens. It was drawn by Rudolph Zallinger for the Early Man volume of the Time-Life Nature Library, published in 1965, and lines up fifteen figures spanning 25 million years.
Zallinger disliked his own image: the single-file layout, suggested by the palaeoanthropologist Elwyn Simons, implies a straight-line progression when human evolution is a bush rather than a road. Scientists have been correcting it for sixty years; the public recognises it on sight.
That is what makes the parody land. The line starts hunched and finishes in the air: the last figure is not standing, he is mid flying kick. Making progress.
The artwork
A horizontal frieze of flat silhouettes, from the stooped primate to the upright man. Then the line breaks: the second to last throws a flying kick and the last one goes backwards through the air, legs up, above the row.
That is where the joke sits: the march of progress does not end on a man standing, it ends on a man taking off. Below, MMA in heavy serif capitals, and MAKING PROGRESS in small type closing the block. No fighter’s name. Plain back.
The garment
Lined hood with a drawcord, front kangaroo pocket, ribbed cuffs and hem. Straight cut, set-in long sleeves.
Technical specification
Technical specifications
Our advice: sixteen combinations is not sixteen body colours: six shades, each offered with several logo colours. Yellow on black carries across a room, black on heather grey stays quiet. The selector spells out both, body first and logo second.
Your size
European cut — take your usual size, with no conversion to apply. Six sizes, S to XXXL (XXXL is the same as 3XL).
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Frequently asked questions
Where does the March of Progress image come from?
From The Road to Homo Sapiens, an illustration by Rudolph Zallinger published in 1965 in the Early Man volume of the Time-Life Nature Library. Fifteen figures across 25 million years, and the most parodied scientific illustration ever made.
Is the March of Progress scientifically accurate?
No, and Zallinger knew it. The single-file layout implies a straight line, whereas human evolution branches. Scientists have been correcting the impression for sixty years, which is precisely why everyone recognises the image.
What size should I order?
European cut — take your usual size, with no conversion to apply. Six sizes, S to XXXL, at one price across every combination.
What are the last figures doing?
There are two of them. One throws a flying kick; the other is sent backwards through the air, the only figure in the line no longer touching the ground. Breaking the row is the whole joke.
How many colours does it come in?
Sixteen combinations: six body shades — black, white, red, royal blue, heather grey, yellow — each with a choice of logo colours. The selector names both.
How do you wash a printed hoodie?
The artwork is applied by heat transfer on PET film. Machine wash at 30 °C / 86 °F inside out, no tumble dryer, no iron on the print.
